Oh Wait, I can totally do this......

OK. So.
we need some background information......
.......when it comes to the Technological Revolution, as much as it pains me....
My Mother was way ahead of me.
She had a computer before I did.
She had High Speed Internet before I did.
She has an Iphone. I do not.

While you may be telling yourself that I tell you things because I am bitter and jealous....you are wrong. So stop being so snarky.

Oh, I am not HAPPY about it....Oh No.
but jealous?
Not Quite.

What I am............
is......frustrated.
because this woman. this WOMAN. that made my very existence possible...that fought tooth and nail to make a good life for me in my formative years....that fought tooth and nail to survive her own childhood and beyond.....(and seriously, anyone who has any kind of teenage angst can kiss my........unmentionable parts, cause seriously....you just have no friggin clue)

And I hope you are still bearing with me...cause it's about to get good. And good things come to those who wait.....or at least , that's what I've always been told.

THIS WOMAN........asked me to look at her computer today. I asked her...."what's wrong with it"   She says "I don't know, it wont even turn on" ...

I ask.....in jest....."do you have it plugged in?"
at which point she looks at her co-worker....said co-worker says to her "oh, no she dinnnnnnn't"

yeah. so. I get to this woman's house to discover....that indeed her computer IS plugged in........
but.
her monitor  has been turned off.

derrrrrrrrr.

(it's ok....she taught me how to make mac-n-cheese from scratch, how to make home-made glue...how to garden, how to can my veggies, how to make do with anything given to me, how to decorate a Christmas tree with some popped corn and some construction paper...)
(I can make a soup out of ANYTHING I can find in my freezer and pantry.) (I will survive the Zombie Apocalypse thanks to this woman)

Still with me??....cause I am so about to get to why that nerve of mine is dancing.......

I take pictures sometimes. I facebook them, Instagram them, yadda yadda yadda them...
I like to think I have an Artistic Eye for things.

My Daddy decided that my Mother needed a camera that could take photos that were as good as the ones I was posting all over the webernetz.......
My Daddy bought my Mother an $800 camera.

My Mother expects me to teach her how to work said camera.


I have a cheap-ass camera.......that I take six zillion pictures with for every ONE picture that I edit the SHIT out of before I post it to any sort of social media. but first, I have to weed through the crap pictures.......then...brighten, sharpen, adjust shadow, adjust color, adjust....EVERYTHING.....to get the effect that I end up with.......

I know my Mother very well. She has no such patience.........


this is going to be interesting..........

excuse me, waitress, theres a bear in my soup.....

O.K. so.....I have worked in the service industry pretty much all my life. Or at least since I first started recognizing myself as a responsible human being person who needs to look out for herself and make her own money......so...really...since about twelve years old. I babysat for other peoples kids for a long time, then I was a lifeguard...and then I entered the restaurant industry, and STAYED there, for a long time. In fact I STILL am employed in this field. I AM the chief dishwasher and chef-in-training in my small little town. I have met many, many, many health department official-type people in all this time. Including that super cute dude that always came to inspect us...... back when I was young enough to appreciate superficial cuteness.

wait......I almost digressed...

back to the nerve dancing

went to lunch today.
had a most excellent tuna melt.....with pesto, and glorious cheese and super yummy toasty ciabatta bread...

but......whilst dining....I witnessed a very large man, with an extreme amount of body hair, and some disturbing side boobs... attired in a strappy lil tank top that did NOTHING for his figure.........besides , no wait...especially important, that it did nothing to protect him from shedding.....
I saw this person .....(shudder)
walk back into the food preparation area.

(puked a lil in my mouth)

HOW. in the name of all that is Holy in this world.....does ANYONE not understand that this is not OK.

and I'm trying not to even point out, that this person had no business wearing this disgusting item of clothing in the first place....he was on Main St. on a Tuesday in January.....not at the beach.....not at a WWE Raw Pay Per View event......not at a Strong Man competition.....just..hanging out at the local coffee shop.....on Main St, USA....in a disgustingly strappy tank top that would have been tacky on BRAD PITT.....and so...was exponentially that MORE disgusting on this person.....

and he strode casually back into the area where my food......that I was going to put in my mouth....was being prepared.


(shudder)

 and yeah.......I ate it anyway.
 I was hungry, dammit.

from my beautiful friend........Over the Rainbow and Through the Woods: Natural Flu Shot

Over the Rainbow and Through the Woods: Natural Flu Shot: So how about I saw a post on Facebook on how to make a natural flu shot .I thought that I’d give it a try since I have a runny nose ,sor...

well...HEYYYYYYY there

Let's do this...... New Year Resolution.....this biatch will Blioggggg........

Starting with today. Had to kill a thing today that may or may not be illegal to kill. But it was trying to kill something I loved.......

and even with that...I had to look away as it was shot....it hurt my feelings....

Amidst all the gun debates, I am that bad ass girl that says "oh yeah, I got my Circuit Judge loaded with .45s and .410s and Woe Unto He that trespasses....."

but really.....
can we ever reall be sure if we are prepared to take that step???