Oh Wait, I can totally do this......

OK. So.
we need some background information......
.......when it comes to the Technological Revolution, as much as it pains me....
My Mother was way ahead of me.
She had a computer before I did.
She had High Speed Internet before I did.
She has an Iphone. I do not.

While you may be telling yourself that I tell you things because I am bitter and jealous....you are wrong. So stop being so snarky.

Oh, I am not HAPPY about it....Oh No.
but jealous?
Not Quite.

What I am............
is......frustrated.
because this woman. this WOMAN. that made my very existence possible...that fought tooth and nail to make a good life for me in my formative years....that fought tooth and nail to survive her own childhood and beyond.....(and seriously, anyone who has any kind of teenage angst can kiss my........unmentionable parts, cause seriously....you just have no friggin clue)

And I hope you are still bearing with me...cause it's about to get good. And good things come to those who wait.....or at least , that's what I've always been told.

THIS WOMAN........asked me to look at her computer today. I asked her...."what's wrong with it"   She says "I don't know, it wont even turn on" ...

I ask.....in jest....."do you have it plugged in?"
at which point she looks at her co-worker....said co-worker says to her "oh, no she dinnnnnnn't"

yeah. so. I get to this woman's house to discover....that indeed her computer IS plugged in........
but.
her monitor  has been turned off.

derrrrrrrrr.

(it's ok....she taught me how to make mac-n-cheese from scratch, how to make home-made glue...how to garden, how to can my veggies, how to make do with anything given to me, how to decorate a Christmas tree with some popped corn and some construction paper...)
(I can make a soup out of ANYTHING I can find in my freezer and pantry.) (I will survive the Zombie Apocalypse thanks to this woman)

Still with me??....cause I am so about to get to why that nerve of mine is dancing.......

I take pictures sometimes. I facebook them, Instagram them, yadda yadda yadda them...
I like to think I have an Artistic Eye for things.

My Daddy decided that my Mother needed a camera that could take photos that were as good as the ones I was posting all over the webernetz.......
My Daddy bought my Mother an $800 camera.

My Mother expects me to teach her how to work said camera.


I have a cheap-ass camera.......that I take six zillion pictures with for every ONE picture that I edit the SHIT out of before I post it to any sort of social media. but first, I have to weed through the crap pictures.......then...brighten, sharpen, adjust shadow, adjust color, adjust....EVERYTHING.....to get the effect that I end up with.......

I know my Mother very well. She has no such patience.........


this is going to be interesting..........

excuse me, waitress, theres a bear in my soup.....

O.K. so.....I have worked in the service industry pretty much all my life. Or at least since I first started recognizing myself as a responsible human being person who needs to look out for herself and make her own money......so...really...since about twelve years old. I babysat for other peoples kids for a long time, then I was a lifeguard...and then I entered the restaurant industry, and STAYED there, for a long time. In fact I STILL am employed in this field. I AM the chief dishwasher and chef-in-training in my small little town. I have met many, many, many health department official-type people in all this time. Including that super cute dude that always came to inspect us...... back when I was young enough to appreciate superficial cuteness.

wait......I almost digressed...

back to the nerve dancing

went to lunch today.
had a most excellent tuna melt.....with pesto, and glorious cheese and super yummy toasty ciabatta bread...

but......whilst dining....I witnessed a very large man, with an extreme amount of body hair, and some disturbing side boobs... attired in a strappy lil tank top that did NOTHING for his figure.........besides , no wait...especially important, that it did nothing to protect him from shedding.....
I saw this person .....(shudder)
walk back into the food preparation area.

(puked a lil in my mouth)

HOW. in the name of all that is Holy in this world.....does ANYONE not understand that this is not OK.

and I'm trying not to even point out, that this person had no business wearing this disgusting item of clothing in the first place....he was on Main St. on a Tuesday in January.....not at the beach.....not at a WWE Raw Pay Per View event......not at a Strong Man competition.....just..hanging out at the local coffee shop.....on Main St, USA....in a disgustingly strappy tank top that would have been tacky on BRAD PITT.....and so...was exponentially that MORE disgusting on this person.....

and he strode casually back into the area where my food......that I was going to put in my mouth....was being prepared.


(shudder)

 and yeah.......I ate it anyway.
 I was hungry, dammit.

from my beautiful friend........Over the Rainbow and Through the Woods: Natural Flu Shot

Over the Rainbow and Through the Woods: Natural Flu Shot: So how about I saw a post on Facebook on how to make a natural flu shot .I thought that I’d give it a try since I have a runny nose ,sor...

well...HEYYYYYYY there

Let's do this...... New Year Resolution.....this biatch will Blioggggg........

Starting with today. Had to kill a thing today that may or may not be illegal to kill. But it was trying to kill something I loved.......

and even with that...I had to look away as it was shot....it hurt my feelings....

Amidst all the gun debates, I am that bad ass girl that says "oh yeah, I got my Circuit Judge loaded with .45s and .410s and Woe Unto He that trespasses....."

but really.....
can we ever reall be sure if we are prepared to take that step???

So.....I still have this space here. The internet is like a Boss that you never quit.

Today, nothing is dancing on my nerve. I have sunshine. The temperature is at my optimal level. (I don't even get COMFORTABLE until the temps are above 75) (I was so meant to be born to super rich people, somewhere in the Caribbean) (Obviously I did some sort of nasty deed in my last life for which I must atone ....by shivering and aching through the sometimes cold Virginia winters.....obviously it was a minor indiscretion, thus I did not end up in Antarctica)
I have spent the day in solitary, writing a song, working on an acoustic arrangement of a Journey song I like quite much, playing with my chickens.....and in between all that....and facebooking (OMG Facebook is the DEBIL Bobby Bouchet!!!!!)....in between all that trying to accomplish grown-up activities.....cleaning up the yard, scrubbing toilets, thawing out dinner, brushing my teeth and putting on a bra. Not so much in that order. One has put some poundage on and must have extra supportage.

I had a dreamy weekend with the Love of My Life. I know.....I know....WTF.

When I first began this blog way back when I was constantly irritated by things. It is quite amazing what a happy love life will do for one's attitude. As a musician, it's TERRIBLE!!!! I can't write good songs being happy in love!! Who wants to hear THAT crap!!!!????

I used to have a giant hard-on for Clint Black. Then he got married to that Lisa person......started letting her sing with him and all his songs went from Honkey Tonk , cry in yer beer, or party your socks off, to....OH I'm so in Love........

pfffffttttttt.

Wait.....Holy A.D.D. Batman....where was I??


Oh yeah...so I had this awesome weekend......I slept late....

wait.....again....no, I did NOT sleep late.Saturday morning, the Love Of My Life's phone went off before 8am.
The thing you must understand is that the LOML has a job at which he is frequently on call and thus has a HORRENDOUS ringtone that would wake the dead......or alternately give a mortal heart attack to the living.....
So.......that was his brother.....calling....at ten minutes to eight. Proof positive that some people have NO raising.
THE NEXT day.....on the Holy Sabbath no less.......Screaming Meamy phone went off at 7:40.

Seven. Forty. A. M.

and the person on the other end was known as "Bad Luck"

Imagine that.

Now, I have a rule....it's number 23 on Marcie's List of Rules.
Rule Number 23 states clearly......We do NOT call ANYONE on the telephone, be it landline, or mobile or otherwise, at ANY time before the hour of  Ten AM in the day. The rule is concrete, and is MOST ESPECIALLY concrete and reinforced with rebar on the weekends....and then backed up with armed guards on SUNDAY!!  (armed guards with flaming arrows and boiling vats of oil.)

Apparently........my nerve gets plucked more than I recognize until I start typing.......

So....I really orta.....

.........update this. I have SO much rant to share :-)

Because I am vain...

wrinkles, sags and bags.....oh my.

I have a wattle. it's official...my youth is gone. I have used more moisturizer in the last year than I did in the 36 years that preceded it. I am on the eternal quest for that miracle cream that firms up the neck and jowl, while simultaneously erasing, or at least diminishing and staving off, eye crinkles and smile craters. In my head, I know I am deluding myself, none of my efforts are actually going to turn back any clocks. But in my heart, each new pretty jar of magical elixir holds the promise of a miracle.

I've been using L'Oreal Skin Genesis Daily Treatment, Serum Concentrate and I like it, it makes my skin feel awesome, and I'm pretty sure it does what I want it to do....but in the last few weeks my skin just seems to need something. I think stress is pulling all my molecules apart. I am trying to combat this with extra vitamins.

and I'm adding some more ammunition. Today I found some 24/7 Smoothing Anti-Aging Moisturizer . It promises to moisturize, tone and FIRM. If it works, I can think of a few other body parts I am going to use it on. At least until I get that government grant for my boob job.

also in my beauty pilgrimmage today, I snapped up these little packets that were hanging like tempting little fruits on the moisturizer aisle. The product is called Eye Brighten from Skinvitals, and it includes two little cloth eye treatment masks, one for each eye. It contains vitamin C and licorice. If it doesn't make my eyes look brighter and invigorated, it might be a yummy snack.

oooohhhh and snacks...reminds me of the homemade tequila sugar scrub that I meant to make and use....